Captain's Log

Aboard U.S.S. Enterprise. Crew has sustained surprising events over the past twelve months and now has fielded new challenges. That, and Spock's been acting funny ever since I beat him at UNO.

After losing a job, spouse losing a job, extended guest visit, and spouse's mysterious three-month stomach illness (Bones tells me it was a Klingon parasite), the exhaust pipe fell off the only three-year-old Enterprise while cruising at normal hyperspace speed. Had to call in intergalactic towing vessel. While Enterprise's makers repaired it, crew adjusted to loaner spaceship during asteroid storm ("rainy day" on earth) but failed to make all necessary adjustments. Crashed loaner spaceship. Crew fine but monitored in sick bay for eight hours as precaution ("hospital" on earth). But apparently after my stay in sick bay, Bones' menu didn't agree with me. On way back to base, in crashed loaner spaceship, I was sick all over the deck.

For kicks, made Scotty clean it up. "Arghh, it's too muuch vomitt, sar, I do na' have enuff pooer in my cleanarr to get i' all."

He had it coming. He beat us all at "Cranium" so badly Lieutenant Uhura cried.