It is so cold, I just saw a penguin with frostbite.
In other news, I thought there was one message on our answering machine.
Turns out, it was blinking alternating digits: 2. 1. 2. 1.
Because there wasn't one message. There were 21 MESSAGES.
So, ah, sorry if you've called and we haven't gotten back with you. Family was down visiting last weekend and we really didn't answer the phone much.
And now, for something completely different: another edition of "Name That Quote." Partially because it was fun, mostly because I like to watch Emily's brain explode as she wrestles with identifying elusive movie quotes. By the way: these all come from one genre.
"Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?"
"Apes don't read philosophy. "
"Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up."
Kudos, Mom: "A Fish Called Wanda" gave us those great lines.
"I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives."
Here's another quote from this flick, for a hint: "Have you tried STAPLES?"
#3: "He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died, but, he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off, and so had his, uh... you know. I had been out all evening at the movies."
"Do you miss him?"
"Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life."
"But, he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared."
"But that was his job. He was an illusionist."
"But he never reappeared!"
"He wasn't a very good illusionist."
Emily got this one, lines from the side-splitting actress Madeline Kahn in "Clue."
#4: "None of us have been here before, love. I mean, my John didn't see me naked until the spring of 1975."
"What happened in the spring of '75?"
"There was a lizard in the shower block at Abergele. Quite a few people saw me naked that morning."
"Calendar Girls," a great British comedy about middle-aged women who strategically strip down behind homemaking implements for a local Women's Institute calendar, to raise funds to fight cancer.
#5:"Where are the passports and tickets?"
"I put them in the microwave to dry em' off."
My brother Ethan is the only to have gotten this one: "Home Alone."
"Have you all decided?"
"Madam, we must have waffles! We must all have waffles forthwith! We must all think, and we must all have waffles, and think each and every one of us to the very best of his ability..."
Here's another hint: "This is a Christian house, boy. No hippity-hop language in here."
#7: "Or are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?"
"A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?"
This is, indeed, from "Zoolander," as Emily correctly guessed.
"Well, I wouldn't argue that it wasn't a no-holds-barred, adrenaline-fuelled thrill ride. But there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork."
Yes, one or several of you guessed the very British action spoof "Hot Fuzz."
"I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!"
"Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week."
One of the lesser-quoted exchanges from the oft-quoted comedy "Dumb & Dumber."
"What are you doing in my dad's coffin?!"
This movie is one of the best British comedies I've seen recently: "Death at a Funeral."
Have fun figuring them out, folks!