I have a secret.
It's about pigeons.
For several years now, my heart has yearned for a homing pigeon. A pigeon to carry messages to all my friends and family. A pigeon of my own.
Cruel compatriots informed me that carrier pigeons are extinct. I refused to believe.
And then I saw this:
Pigeon trainer from WWII dies http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/14/us/14topus.html
Here's my theory: if the United States was using a bona fide pigeoneer in World War II - and the country was battling off the Nazi falcons attacking the U.S. pigeons (read the article, I'm not kidding) - then isn't it reasonable to suspect that the CIA is still using homing pigeons?
Now, it's true, I make this argument so that I can hold out hope that one day, chums can install stoops outside their kitchen windows to receive my homing pigeon. They will allow it to perch on their hands, while unwinding the tiny message on lightweight paper from its leg. "Come over for spaghetti. I'm making homemade sauce" will be scribbled inside. "I'll bring salad," they'll respond.
So this year, Santa, you can keep your world peace. I'll take one homing pigeon, please.