Thursday, July 31, 2008

Vanity, Vanity

Said the Preacher in Ecclesiastes.

All is vanity.

That's a bit of how I feel today. The other bit is enjoying a nice murder mystery, and soon, a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich. Placebo? you say. Well, it's not Blue Bell or Breyer's, I admit, but it'll do.

Wait! you say. Aren't you at work?

No. I'm at home waiting for plastic surgery to be done.

Plastic surgery! you say. Don't you think plastic surgery is a terrible practice except in case of people who need some reconstruction after tragedy?

Yes, but someone needs to remove the gnome from my back.

Gnome? you say.

Yes. Apparently a gnome has been following me around for a week, randomly sticking needle nosed pliers in my lower back, squeezing nerve bundles, twisting the spine, or jabbing the area I'm going to call the "Bermuda triangle" between my lower back, my hip, and my butt.

Obviously, the solution is a gnomectomy. I wonder what the doctor will say tomorrow when I tell him.

3 comments:

Becky C said...

Did I ever tell you that the first year of marriage always ensures more trips to the doctor, more dental problems, surgeries, oh yeah, and definitely more gnomes. Sorry...something about the increased stress of dwelling with the opposite sex...happens to the best of us...but hey it's even better once kids come in the mix...everyone else falls apart and as a mom you WISH WISH WISH you could too just for a moment of uninterupted rest. But alas, the immunity has kicked in and you become nursemaid. ;-) Enjoy others taking care of you.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry your back is hurting you, Sissy....what murder mystery are you reading? Did you ever get those books from Eth?
Love you much, Mom

Anonymous said...

Yep. Gnomes will do that every time. Beware of the gnome.