Monday, July 7, 2008

Things I Bought That I Loved and Hated

This is not original. The great, hilarious actress who plays Kelly on "The Office" has a fantastically funny blog about purchases she loves.

So here's to Kelly, and her writer/actress reality.

Things I bought recently that I love:

1. Fig Newmans. No, not Fig Newtons. Fig NEWmans. As in Paul Newman, of "Butch Cassidy" fame. As in Paul Newman of "Newman's Own" spaghetti sauce. As in, all the profits go to charity. You can get Fig Newmans at Wal-Mart or some tofu-smelling organic store. And they taste better than Fig Newtons. I promise.

2. Guava yogurt. I did not know what I was getting myself into when I put a guava Yoplait carton in the shopping cart. For someone born in the sticks where you feed cattle corn and you eat corn and then the cattle, guava is pretty exotic.

I loved it. First, I love the color. Second, the picture on the front makes you feel cool and global, "oh, look at me, I eat things like guava yogurt, cactus, and homemade chicken satay." Third, it's a great change from the standby strawberry/banana.

3. I'm including video rentals in purchases. Deal with it. "Bella." The movie "Bella". It's an amazing, small-production movie with some of the best actors I've seen in a while. It's a great movie on faith, suffering, and community - but that makes it sound boring. It's actually vibrant, colorful, and very sensory - I felt like I could smell the smoke from the kitchen, feel the ocean breeze, ahhh...and great music. Get some great Mexican, stay in, and watch "Bella." It's a beautiful movie to watch in many ways. Also I cried. But it's not a sad ending, if you're avoiding sad endings. I'm trying to avoid sad endings right now since every time I go to the gas station it's a sad ending.

4. Kool-Aid. See, John and I have very different menus. I like feta cheese, portabello and Merlot spaghetti sauce, free-trade whole bean coffee, dark chocolate, bleu cheese, and fresh spinach, Mexican, Indian, Chinese and Italian. He likes hot dogs. Hot dogs, pizza, hamburgers, turkey sandwiches. No mayo. No ketchup. No sharp cheddar. No olives. Definitely no mushrooms. Only marinara sauce that's smooth, with no onions. Basically, his diet revolves around bread, meat, and cheese. He eats a little fruit and vegs on the side. He drinks milk by the gallon - literally. But dark chocolate? Ha! Bleu cheese? No way! Indian food? I'm as funny as Groucho Marx by this point.

So I bought Kool-Aid, because it's cheaper than the gallons of Gatorade he drinks, and it's nostalgic. And it's summer, and he's playing disc golf every chance he gets, so he's always thirsty. Kool-Aid is great. It's 18 cents a packet for berry or orange or Invisible watermelon/kiwi. And if people come over, well, everybody loves Kool-Aid.

Things I bought that I hate:

1. A smooshy canteloupe. Here's the problem: this doesn't mean all canteloupe are bad. What it does mean is, if you're buying your produce from a large box store (bad idea to begin with), don't get it the ripeness your Mom taught you - by the time you travel the five minutes home, it will be over-ripe. I picked up a canteloupe. It felt heavy for it's size: good. I knocked on it. It sounded hollow: good. I took it home. Two days later I turned it over and found soft spots on the outside of the rind. I cut it open. The interior was overripe - the seeds fell out when I cut it, the flesh went almost all the way to the rind, and it's taste was "so last year." I wish there was a mid-sized farmer's market nearby. I'd get up on Saturday mornings just so I wouldn't have to buy smooshy melons.

2. "My Blueberry Nights": we rented this movie. Now, it had Rachel Weisz, Jude Law, and Natalie Portman, so it should be pretty good, right? Unfortunately, it starred singer Norah Jones. I love Norah Jones' voice. Um, I think her talents are best showcased on the stage. By the end, she was more comfortable with the whole acting bit. The first five minutes I could've rivaled, and my acting is limited to church productions and student projects. And while I love foreign films and aesthetic cinematography, Kar Wai Wong's directing was not something I wish to expose myself to regularly. This was an American film, in English, but stylistically it felt foreign, which I often enjoy. But though I enjoyed the bright splashes of color and vivid tints, the slow motion was killing me by the end. That and the random, sensual close-ups of blueberry pie.

Well, those are my shopping reviews. Let me know what you love or hate.


Unknown said...

i love your "love/hate" list! i've got to try that guava yogurt... sounds delicious!

Audra Krell said...

This post is totally hilarious!!!! I want to feel worldly too, I will buy guava yogurt in the morning. I've always been afraid to try it, but now that I know it will make my more knowledgeable about world events, witty and charming, I just might buy a case.

Anonymous said...

Guava. Now THAT I know about!! But not the taste. :) To me, as a youngster, I thought the color was unattractive and the smell was worse, so, of course, I didn't want to taste it.) And, I don't regret it. VBG

The same peanut butter soup lady pastor previously mentioned also made guava jelly. Jars and jars and jars and jars and jars and jars of it. Seemed everyone was a recipient of guava jelly. I well remember the smell of cooking guava jelly. She also made guava frozen custard. Lots and lots of it. For the 300-400 kids who came to her VBS. Now THAT is dedication.

Thanks for the memories. :D