After placing the white surgeon's mask over my nose and mouth, I was finally led back to the exam room, where the doctor nodded like he'd seen a lot of this and handed me a sheaf of prescriptions.
Influenza and bronchitis.
I took the Tamiflu. I took the antibiotic. And then I took the cough syrup with codeine.
Enter 60's montage of psychedelic colors, music, and VW vans.
Someone slipped me a mickey.
Twenty minutes after taking codeine, this was the conversation:
"Hey, hey Ethan, you should get a dog and name it Lurch. Get it? Lurch? For a dog? Isn't that funny? You know, like the Addams Family or whatever it was? Luuuurch? Here Lurch....Ahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa...Ahahaha...Hahahahaha...."
Realizing I might be fun to mess with, he started on in my favorite joke:
"Hey Sis, knock knock."
"Yes?" I answered in what I tried to make a dignified tone.
"What?" Something was stirring in the back of my mind.
"Oh - right - I couldn't remember what came next - WHO'S THERE?"
Needless to say, the mockery that ensued over the fact that one teaspoon of cold medicine with codeine had me forgetting the reply to a knock knock joke will, I'm sure, make it into the family annals of "remember that time."
Also, I slept ten hours like Rip Van Winkle and my hands are still heavy. Earlier I said the Hawaiian music we were listening to sounded like Boyz II Men in Hollywood. I meant Boyz II Men in Hawaii.
Also, earlier I said these words: "let me Google codeine and coffee."
I was trying to find out if codeine and caffeine mix poorly. Apparently most websites are only concerned with mixing medicines and alcohol, not medicines and coffee.
Hey, codeine and caffeine end the same. I wonder why?